Have you ever considered the artist? The one who slaves away from daylight to twilight pursuing their craft in earnest. Without complaint, they produce works of visual splendor that can be cherished for generations to come to enrich cultures and touch hearts. Among their names, we have the magnificent Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Picasso. In further contemplation we can ask, what of the artistry of the musician? Who hasn't heard of the 5th Symphony of Beethoven, The Seasons of Vivaldi, or The Hallelujah Chorus of Handel? Surely, their works attain everlasting meaning throughout the arch of human existence. Contemporary artists and societies as a whole draw inspiration from their great minds after all these years. For your spiritual benefit, please take a moment to appreciate the finer things in life:
With a tracery appreciation for art in place, let us now turn our attention to those contemporary artists otherwise known as digital modelers. Those miserable, underpaid work addicts who suffer from gratuitous amounts of philanthropic ideals never to be realized, instead buried beneath years of socially-induced angst and self-directed vitriol. Their days are long but lesser in number, for the work they are subjected to pushes the human condition beyond its reasonable bounds and afflicts the soul. We shall hence refer to their kind as "The Miserable Ones." There was a time when all I had was pitiless indifference for such a kind, but times have changed, for I too have joined their ranks and committed their folly. Verily, from my concert stage of the musician hath I descended into the overcrowded alleyways of the digital artist. From maestro of the orchestra to sculptor of vertices and 3D meshes have I become. This is my journey...
Exhibit A: Cube
This is the origins of jeep. I was commissioned by his holiness elect, The Joel, to bestow a vehicle upon the lands of zombie slaughter. Knowing myself an artist of the pen and vibrating string, I set out to accomplish the amateur art of The Miserable Ones. Thus began Cube. My philosophical understanding of this beginnings was so: Cube was not Jeep, but Jeep was always Cube.
Exhibit B: Not Cube But Still Cube
Behold. Now, you may ponder to yourself, saying, "what the hell is this rubbish?!" That is a logical first impression. This is what nearly brought me to my knees as a newly blossoming Miserable One. How does cube become not cube, but round and circley? It defies contemporary reason. However, after hours upon hours of depraved effort, I came upon the answer, and I share it freely for those who seek it: don't sculpt your blasphemous 3D artwork in Unity with Probuilder! A fool I was for committing myself to the Probuilder! Many wise though underpaid Miserable Ones warned against the ways of the Probuilder cop-out, but lo, I heeded not their street sense. Swallowed up was I by my own pride and confidence as the artist of the pen and vibrating string. Had I oriented my vision towards the Blender, would I not have suffered so? Verily...
Exhibit C: Jeep
Meet Jeep. The child of my destitute struggles as a Miserable One. Jeep is not the best of jeeps nor the worst of jeeps, I freely admit, but she is my jeep, imbued with all my love, sweat, and existential tears. A WW2-era USA-modeled transport vehicle like no other. Not to be confused with Jeep—the manufacturer brand—, such a jeep as this I refer to was produced by Willies and Ford! Hail the Willies and the pre-80's era Ford!
This jeep is shiny yet matte. Light yet well-balanced. Sassy yet cultured. I say to you, she is swift and reliable. Jeep will save your 3-Dimensional posterior from a great many hordes! Take good care of her, survivors, for I surrender her to your capable hands. May Jeep forever light your way in the dark, and may you too find more than indifferent pity for The Miserable Ones in your heart.
– Kaleb S. Davis
Musician, Composer, Artist, Educator,